Swear Room

Fuck.
Today I have to go back to work for the 1st time in 4 months.
Seemed like such a good idea a week ago, now I feel sick.
Wonder if I'll make the train journey or have a panic attack and end up in Surrey coz I'm too scared to get off

I hope your day went okay HanSpan!

Sam wrote:I hope your day went okay HanSpan!

Thanks.
Could have been worse, could have been better. Day 2 a slight improvement.
Onward and hopefully upward!

HanSpan wrote:Could have been worse, could have been better. Day 2 a slight improvement.
Onward and hopefully upward!

Keep your chin up HanSpan, it will get easier. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Babafette wrote:

HanSpan wrote:Could have been worse, could have been better. Day 2 a slight improvement.
Onward and hopefully upward!

Keep your chin up HanSpan, it will get easier. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Thank you.

Today was indeed much better but I don't suppose I can get away with hiding in some remote building crawling around in the dust & fiddling with wires very often. More's the pity;)

I'm not in again till Monday but feel myself already reverting to normal - wanting to call up and try to sort things I've half finished as I can't get it out of my head. How do other people manage to just switch it off when they go home?

Ok this is going to make me sound like a basket case but this is how I do it. Not just with work stuff, but anything I don't want to think about.

I purposely think about it, whatever it is, I picture it in my mind. Then in my mind I picture a tall fence appearing in front of it, surrounding it, pushing it outwards away from me. Now it's behind a fence, out of sight. Then I think about something nice instead.

I know, sounds weird, but it works for me. I'm a visual person. Can't see it, don't need to think about it.

I find switching off from work and college work really hard. I lay in bed thinking about it. That's why I do my nails so much. It distracts me. Until bed time anyway.

I'm currently hailing the success of crafting and logic puzzles for switching my brain off! I find it very hard to shut my head off when I get into bed so last night I experimented by turning all but my light off about half an hour before I wanted to sleep, got out my logic puzzle book and did a few of them - 15 minutes later I had to turn my lamp off because I was falling asleep, never happened before lol.

I had been doing something advised by CBT where yous et aside half an hour to worry each day and whenever you think of something worrysome outside that you just tell yourself its OK you can worry about it at (for instance) 11 am tomorrow. That seems to work for me sometimes but I think the thought of going back to work after all this time was just too big too push aside.

I'm home today and if I can stay awake (I'm sooo knackered) I shall gie the half hour worry a go this afternoon.

Not that I'm glad any of you are worriers - but it is perversely nice to find I'm not the only one with things constantly (and bloody irritatingly) swirling round my head.

It's not just you - I worry about practically everything. Let's just say I make a lot of lists!!!

Babafette wrote:It's not just you - I worry about practically everything. Let's just say I make a lot of lists!!!

LOL. I have lists and then worry if I've put something on the bloody list and find I've already worried about it the day before and added it. I so envy those people taht just sail along seemingly not stressing about things.
I was feeling a bit more like me before I went back to work but only one v short week and my brain is like an old fart with dementia. My nearly 80 year old father and I compare notes and I'm more like him than ever now!

This is the second Sunday in a row I've been sat here talking to no one. OH has passed out from the drink again. Fucking pisses me off. I'm gonna end up marrying my father.

AND. I really want a polish by ninja polish, part of her holiday collection but she just won't tell when she'll be listing it! At this rate I'll have to give up and go to bed (end of I'm a celeb is my deadline) and I won't get one.

Ok rant over. Fuck.

Ok just read that back. I sound very shallow there. Apologises.

shoppingaddict wrote:Ok just read that back. I sound very shallow there. Apologises.

Nonsense. Perfectly acceptable to want to strange uncommunicative passed out OHs.
I've not had one like that for ages but used to do horrid things to the last one whilst he was half gone - another good way to almost get punched of course!

He shouldn't even drink really!! We had a birthday party for our joint 30th back in August and he ended up on hospital! Doctors said he should curb his drinking, hasn't listened. Grr

Sorry to hear about your crappy weekend shoppingaddict. I am currently majorly stressing out about my Tax Return - I have papers absolutely everywhere and I feel completely overwhelmed this evening. I used to be such an organised person but now I feel like a total mess most of the time.

shoppingaddict wrote:He shouldn't even drink really!! We had a birthday party for our joint 30th back in August and he ended up on hospital! Doctors said he should curb his drinking, hasn't listened. Grr

I've just seen my typo - I meant strangle him - not strange him, what an odd thing to do!

I'm not really one to give advice as I'm currently drinking rather too much again - albeit not as badly as I used to - but I tried several times in the past to get in under control and failed and then about 3 years I read the Alan Carr how to control your drinking book and it worked! Or at least it did until things at work got so bad I found myself having little binges to block out reality. I'm half way through it again and am already finding mysef improving without thinking about it, I hope when I reach the end of the book I will again be under control:)

Well I'm feeling absolutely knackered today. I was so anxious last night that I only got about 3 hours sleep.

You poor thing. I'm vile if I don't get several more than that. I only become reasonably human after 6 or 7 but really need 8 or more to be almost pleasant;)
I've never had to do a tax return. One of the (seemingly few at the moment) advantages of being just a plain old employee. I don't envy you that at all.

Thanks HanSpan, I feel a bit better this afternoon. I just felt so overwhelmed last night with work and personal stuff, it all just got to me. I'm off out for a meal tonight so hopefully I can try and relax a bit.

I don't even attempt to do the Tax Return myself, I'm just gathering all my information together to forward to the accountant hence having to sift through all my paperwork.

Shoppingaddict, so sorry to hear about your cr@ppy Sunday. I feel your pain. I somehow survived through several years of that before my OH gave up the demon drink (5 years sober now, so proud of him, it can be done, don't give up hope).

Baba, I had a similar amount of kip last night (and a few too many glasses of wine. Hanspan...lend me your book?!). Had to get through the day without the help of caffeine as I'm too skint to spend money on Costa and the vile machine in our office only gives out vaguely coffee flavoured water. Early night tonight for sure, and no alcohol.

On the plus side, after being seriously skint for weeks...OH got a tax rebate today and a new job

(Shoot me down but I won't fall, I am titanium)

starrystarry wrote:On the plus side, after being seriously skint for weeks...OH got a tax rebate today and a new job

Yay, that's great news starrystarry! Fingers crossed you'll get the new job you were after too.

I got the job!! Holy crap! I actually squealed down the phone when she rang me (always professional).

Congrats Starry. Thats fab news.

Congrats Starry!

Allow me to rant...

6 days before I fly and the fnucking fridge freezer has started to die, with a load of food in it that now needs to be thrown away and me now running round trying to find a replacement, delivered by Sunday. FFS